The Night Before Portfolio Review


I wrote this short parody story leading up to the Fall 2018 Portfolio review and sent it to recruiters as a bed time story. Some thought it was funny. Some thought it was weird. That’s life, I guess!

'Twas the night before portfolio review, and all through the circus, 
Their websites were perfected and curated with purpose.
The kerning was tight and done with care,
For they knew that recruiters would soon be there.

The copywriters said “I’m tired” and had gone to lay;
The art directors, however, had much longer to stay. 
They sat and wondered in front of their screens,
Is the set up right? Is the copy clean?

That typeface is weird. Are you sure about that color?
Is that really something you want to show Mother?
Goodby it could be if my scripts are tight;
They mused in the solitude of laptop light. 

At long last, they’d updated their squarespaces,
And honestly, were put through their paces. 
So with crust in their eyes and a tinge of excitement in their hearts,
They went to bed with the dream of being paid to do art. 

Suddenly I am awoken by my phone, 
“I forgot to call Mom,” I sleepily groan. 
What’s this? A recruiter loves my book?
Oh man! Oh man! Only eight quarters it took!

It’s what I’ve been waiting for, it’s a sure thing!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I begin to beam,
At that moment my alarm begins to ring,
Alas, but was only a dream.